I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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