Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
