I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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