You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
