My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
