So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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