i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
