Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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