I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
