im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
sex in a hospital.. check
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
