Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
