we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
