She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
