FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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