i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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