the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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