we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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