my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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