I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
