walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
