clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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