i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You made out with two different species that night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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