I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
