NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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