did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
