I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
