She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
