I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
