just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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