Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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