i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
