so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize