Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
