I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
