i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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