Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I need help removing her.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

Fav 3 2814 784
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(516): View more from New York

He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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(614): View more from Ohio

John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.

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(937): View more from Ohio

It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar

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(708): View more from Illinois

Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.

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