I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Girls should come with a carfax report
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
