i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
