Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
