I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
