then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
