even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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