Betty ford says i'm here all night
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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