How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We got so high we made milksteak
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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