Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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