she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
