Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
