What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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