wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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