But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
