This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
