Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
