I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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