Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
