omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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