If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
