I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
