He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
