just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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