Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
