watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
