I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
