If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize