He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
