Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize