my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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