we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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