I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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