living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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