Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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