i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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