To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
