I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
