i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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