Nicole vs. Life
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
