whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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